Subject: Technicalities Resent-From: staff.newyork@agency.com Date: Mon, 22 May 2000 10:45:08 -0400 From: "Mitch Golden" To: nystaff@agency.com Technicalities May 22, 2000 *) The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth After all these months of writing Technicalities, it still seems that I have a credibility issue. Your humble correspondent always endeavors to make these notes entertaining, but never at the expense of scholarly detachment and journalistic integrity. Despite repeated assurances that nothing here is invented or even significantly exaggerated, there are still those who believe that Technicalities is an exercise in creative writing. A week or two ago we had a guest down from the Boston office. As her host was showing her around the 13th floor, they encountered me. I was introduced in the usual way: "This is Mitch Golden, from the Tech department, who writes Technicalities..." After a few moments of pleasantries, they went their way and I went mine. As the conversation ended David Bortnichak stuck got up from his cubicle and said "Wow. That really does happen to you. I always thought you were just blowing your own horn..." *) Einstein and Technicalities I heard recently that there are some scientists who a proposing a modification of the General Theory of Relativity, a change which results in elimination of the possibility of Black Holes. I for one know that this altered model of gravitation is wrong - anyone who doubts the existence of a region of space that sucks all matter and energy into oblivion should pay a visit to the 15th floor and take a look at Remedy. That situation is not new - Lord no! - and you've certainly heard about it from me before. What amused me recently was an exchange I was told about between Ritesh and the latest fearless astronaut to venture near the event horizon. Ritesh was admonishing this person (who shall remain nameless - at least for now) that if no progress was made, there would be hell to pay. "I'll have Mitch write it up in Technicalities", Ritesh said. *) The "New" Woodbridge Since January, when I wrote of my excursion to the Woodbridge "Holiday" party, most of the folks from that office have been pretty loath to talk to me. They are, as you can imagine, leery of saying anything quotable, for fear that they'll appear again herein, inevitably portrayed as a set of hopeless nerds. Nonetheless, every now and again I do hear a leak about goings on on the other side of the Hudson. "It's a whole new atmosphere" or "There's a real Creative department out there now, and it's really quite different!" As luck would have it, I actually had the opportunity to spend a day in the AGENCY.COM offices in the Garden State. You can imagine ny excitement as the NJ Transit train neared Metro Park. Well, there are doubtless changes that have been made in that part of the world, but they seemed pretty subtle to me. A photograph of the office would still be adequately reproduced on a grayscale monitor. The blinds in the offices were all closed to shield out the sun's offending rays. The magazine rack still featured exciting titles like "ERP Today". The Creatives were relegated to the nether reaches of the office - and worked in a big room without even the dignity of cubicles. The major changes seemed to be the addition of a Nerf gun that fires rubber bands, and one of our high-tech electronic whiteboards in the conference room (which we used at lunch to play the online version of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"). Not that I am disappointed. Throughout our city, we see the wholesale obliteration of the character of neighborhood after neighborhood as yuppies move in and rents skyrocket. It's good to see that there are still some places that preserve the old ways. *) Speaking Of Woodbridge As I have often noted in the past, I get all sorts of notes in response to these missives. One of the more amusing ones of recent vintage came from Mike Benyo. It seems that the able leader of the Woodbridge office spent his recent vacation on a cruise, and despite his intention to relax he could not do without his e-mail, or at least not without his Technicalities. Thus I received an e-mail from him stating that all his fellow passengers on the Sun Princess are now big fans. I picture it like this: Benyo is in a jacuzzi, surrounded by other seafarers, all of whom are - in true cruise fashion - not wearing anything. (My mental image does not extend to imagining Mr Benyo himself in such a state.) While he soaks, Benyo is using his down time to catch up on his e-mail, and the laptop is resting on the edge of the pool, steam rising and condensing on the display. Suddenly Benyo starts to giggle, and some of the others folks rouse themselves from their heat-induced torpor to look at what he is reading. The general amusement spreads, and soon Benyo has friends for life, as he forwards them copies of these notes. It must have happened something like that. *) All Quadris, All The Time It does seem that there is a thread running through this issue... The latest member to join the Tech department is Peter Gluck. Peter has the distinction of being an old alumnus of Quadris, and he is coming back to AGENCY.COM after a few years away. Peter has been ensconsed on team Rice, so you'll have to make a trip down to 12 to find him. What is interesting about Peter is that he came here prepared. He must have spoken to his old Quadris buddies about what it would take to fit in. He has shaved his head, and can usually be found wearing black. I was told that one of his first assignments was to write a Creative Brief for PWC. That's talent. *) Pardon Me, Which Of These Resumes Is Yours? Peter is far from the last person you'll be reading about in these notes. We have a large number of new people starting in the next few weeks, and we hope to have still more. At one recent point, I interviewed nine people in two days, and the People Organization even managed to send out offer letters to some of them. The frenzied pace continues, as we staff up on BA, Compaq, PWC, Colgate... Watch this space.